I wonder how many of you ever had the “I don’t belong here” kind of feeling. If you ask me, I’ve always had that feeling and I still do. I know I should have been born somewhere else. Do something else with my life. Focus on art. Focus on helping people – not necessarily in the volunteering way, but in my way.
Once, someone really dear to my heart suggested me a great book (maybe one of the best I read so far). As I was reading it (mostly in the subway, on my way to everyday work), I so found myself in it.
Long story short on the topic? A man who was never pleased with the teachings he was exposed to. Who was always looking for the answer of his life. He went from being a monk to a wealthy business man. Nevertheless, he abandoned that as well and turned into a ferryboat keeper old man. That’s when he understood that listening and watching the river would be the greatest teacher he would ever meet. And peace of mind is the greatest achievement one can touch. He died happy.
I’m not sure watching and listening to the river would bring that happiness to me as well, but I know one thing for sure: one day I will give that exaggerated courage a chance (yes, “practice what you preach”) and I will follow my most daring dream: travelling – experiencing that freedom the unknown reveals. Live my life the way I want. Meet new people, break boundaries and get rid of all those boxes people are so comfortable with.
I know that nothing is wrapped in a silky velvet, nor milk and honey flow freely on the highway. But I give myself the freedom of guiding my life by a few ideas. One of them is the following saying (that comforts my soul till this day and always will):
“Experience is the best teacher”
And one more thing: I want to be that “Go for it” kind of parent. And, should I reach my 80s, to be a “You can do it” kind of grandma. I want my children to make their own mistakes, but never feel sorry if they achieved their dreams; and not to follow the masses (even if this will be their decision to take, not mine). And I want my grandchildren to ask me for guidance. Guidance on how to get rid of the chains of society…