Someone, once, asked me:
The next moment, the same person, answered on a disappointed voice:
And I felt… Grief. I felt disarmed in front of such an answer. I had to admit that I probably wouldn’t. (Though I wish I had such a golden heart to do it!)
Now it’s me asking: would you?
Well, I may not have that golden heart I wish I did, but I understand there are so many other ways of being selfless. For instance, when you help someone to get over rough moments, you will feel beautiful. You will feel selfless. Because you offer someone something they would value forever – a shoulder to lean on. And in that instant you lose your ego. Because you only think of the other and how to help them the best.
Now, comes another question, from the same person:
Hmm… tough one!
I’m still thinking about the answer, though this conversation happened some time ago now.
Letting go… this is the most selfless gesture I can think of! Answer yourself sincerely: would you ever be happy next to an unhappy person? And bear this in mind: there’s no such thing as loving for both. Your patience of not being corresponded has its finish line. And when you reach the flag, you face your frustration of expectations vs. reality. You can choose either to see and let go, skipping the hurtful stage. Or you can choose to go thru the disappointment stage and learn from it. Whatever the case, please understand that, in a let-go situation, no one is to blame. No one is better. We just value different things. We see life in different ways.
Another… Thank truly. Do that and you will realize how good that makes you feel. This is selfless as well. Gratitude… Be grateful! There’s so many things to say “Thanks” for. We could even play a little game. Let’s do this everyday: let’s think about the people we can thank to. How many people can you thank to? More important, what are the reasons to thank them for? Is it something nice they told you or did for you? Is it a lesson that helped you grow? Think about it. And play it truly, no cheating. Don’t thank to people you don’t feel the need to. But to those you thank – do it fairly! No lying to yourself.
You may be tempted to say… “How could I ever thank someone who brought suffering into my life?”. Well… Think it this way: if there wasn’t for that suffering, you wouldn’t be here today, not the one you are today. Here, to the point you reached on your own two feet. Here, being stronger than ever. Where’s the selflessness? In understanding. You and the others. We all hold this key. We need to learn how to use it.
Last one I can think of at this time: avoid expectations. Do something without wishing for something in return. Give without the need of payback. This way, you will be selfless towards yourself. You will not allow damage reach you once your expectations are not being met. You will have a healthy mind. Hold on to that!
Oh! And lose the hate! Hatred is selfish!
Be self-less to you and others!